An Ode to my Mother:

Some Heroes aren't celebrated, the way that they should,
Some heroes make differences, they never thought they could.
What makes a hero? It's never been clear,
Is it someone who fly's, climbs, or causes great fear?

Is a hero a hero because he wears tights,
Drives fast cars or soars to great heights?
Is a hero a hero because he saves lives,
can throw balls of fire or very sharp knives?

Can a hero be someone without any fame?
Without lots of riches or a special made name?
Can a hero be someone who takes you to school?
Teaches you to ride bikes and swim in the pool?

Can a hero be someone who makes you eat greens.
No matter how much you protest and you scream?
Can a hero be someone who sings you to sleep
Who shoos away monsters without making a peep?

Is a hero a friend who knows just what to say.
When you slip and you fall or just have a bad day?
Can a hero be someone who plays hide and seek,
Who tells you you're pretty when you think you're a freak?

I'll tell you the truth about heroes and all,
MY hero can't fly and is not very tall.
My hero gets scared when facing great height,
She does not have powers or extraordinary might.

But those things don't make someone a hero you see
My hero's a hero because she matters to Me.
My hero's my hero because she gave of her time
to feed me and wash me and scrub off the grime.

She taught me my numbers and alphabet too,
She scrubbed at the birthmark she thought might be poo.
She helped brush my teeth and comb out my hair,
No matter how much I caused her despair.

She taught me to read and to value the world
She taught me to live life and never say "bored".
My hero is playful and loves to pull pranks,
In April she plans these and goes to great lengths.

She made me feel safe when I crawled in her bed,
after having a dream that got stuck in my head.
She let me skip school to spend time just us two,
To do something special, maybe go somewhere new.

She watched me play sports and cheered when I won
At the beach, gave me shirts to protect from the sun.
She carefully wiped away my crocodile tears,
When things came around that brought out my fears.

Can you guess who's my hero or do you still need more clues,
My hero's so versatile and has many hues,

My hero's the person I've always admired,
My MOTHER's my hero, to whom I've aspired.

On gardening

The daunting task of tilling, forming the rows, and planting the seeds has been completed and Esther and my garden is on its way towards deliciousness. I can't wait. This year we have created something special in the hopes that our garden will be even more successful than our last. What is it... well... a very complex, detailed scare crow (we call it a "scare squirrel" as they are our primary targets). What does it look like... well, that is the interesting fact: Esther and my neighbor recently cut down a small tree and Esther and I used a combination of the discarded limbs, an old bucket, an old decrepit soccer ball, and some string to form a 6 foot 5 inch monster of an individual who interestingly enough resembles Esther quite significantly (aside of course from the monster-ness, the 6'5 height - and the soccer ball head).
The day after we built "Scare-Squirrel" he was standing in the yard when I woke up in the morning and sleepily entered the kitchen to let Acacia out. When I looked outside I was shocked to see that Esther was awake and outside, standing really straight with her arms stretched out to either side and an extremely large grin on her face. As you may have guessed, I had been tricked by "Scare-Squirrel". Since that time, I wake every morning and have yet to remember that Esther is in fact NOT in the garden, looking towards the sky; contemplating the weather.
"Scare-Squirrel" even tricked our neighbor John, who got startled when he thought there were two Esthers in the yard.

The sad news - yesterday Esther noticed a squirrel darting through Scare-Squirrel's legs. Apparently Scare-Squirrels are much better at inflicting fear into the hearts of humans and causing mass confusion, than convincing squirrels not to eat our plants.

The above pictures are from our garden last year. Hopefully with or without the help of Scare-Squirrel we can have as much success - can you find the hobbit among the corn?

Strippers and flowers

I asked the young man at Ace Hardware if he knew where the Strippers were????

I turned red - he laughed - and Esther reminded me that we were in a hardware store and that I needed to go to a special type of club if I wanted to find strippers.

Today, I returned to the same Ace having somehow forgotten the whole experience documented above. I went to get a pole to help create a fence for my grapes and also bought $30 worth of flowers (after I had lectured Esther about buying more things for the garden - ooops) . As I walked inside a young man wearing an "Ace Hardware" vest asked me if I had found any strippers?

I think I need to find a new hardware store to frequent :(
(The upside to this story is that I believe the same young man has a fairly significant crush on my friend Esther, thus "priced" a clay pot which had mysteriously lost its tage and was specially designed to house several different types of herbs at approximately 1/3 of the real worth in order for her to buy it).