Impending Doom

On 4/6/2010 at 10:58pm I traveled from the living room to my bedroom in the hopes of making it to my closet to pick out clothes to wear to court the following morning. Tomorrow, I will leave my house by 6:15 am - pick up three children from homes on opposite sides of the county and with them travel to Knoxville TN to appear in court. I will be in court from approximately 8:45am till whenever my case is called, plus however long it takes in the courtroom. So far, I am typically second to last called - putting my time in the courtroom beginning around 12:00pm and ending no earlier than 1:00pm. Since I have to leave early in the morning I decided to be prepared and choose and ready my outfit while I have the brain.. that I will not have at 5:45 in the morning.

As I migrated towards my room I consentrated on my possibilities - not at all excited about the prospect of spending the day with two teenagers, an almost teenager, and worst of all, three angry, fighting and demeaning biological family members with whom I will likely act as peace keeper while ultimately trying to accomplish my goal of intercepting any conversation directed towards my kids with the intent of dissuading them from their testimony in court - all of which I will have to perform while wearing heals and attempting to retain my dignity.

As you can imagine, I was quite distracted, thinking the above thoughts, that I did not happen to see the long, skinny, tender brown mass that lay in my path. And as expected, since I did not see this impending doom, I also did not consider the consequences that may occur when said item may meet my unsuspecting, yet very bare... feet.

The rest of this story pretty much tells itself - but let me mention that inside above mentioned perfectly placed object of destruction and undeserved degradation lay a bizaare mixture of what appeared to be some sort of snot, puss, juice cocktail.

I am beginning to wonder if God was a bit slap happy when he created me... my theory: The frequency at which I find myself in similar situations to the one listed above seems as though it could only have been designed by a very great and powerful being.. and not merely by chance.